How do we decide where to meet for dinner when everyone lives apart?

Start from travel time, not from a favourite restaurant. Find the area where everyone's journey is roughly even, then pick a place to eat within it. Choosing the restaurant first almost always means one person quietly travels much further than the rest.

Isn't the midpoint on the map good enough for picking a restaurant?

Rarely. The geographic midpoint ignores how people actually travel - traffic, train lines and river crossings all pull travel time away from distance, so a restaurant that looks central can be the slowest place for half the group to reach on a weekday evening.

Can it handle people arriving by different modes for dinner?

Yes. Travel mode is set per person, so the friend driving in after work is timed on the road while the one taking the metro is timed on the network. Each journey is measured on its own terms and compared in minutes, which is what makes the meeting place genuinely fair.

Does it suggest the actual restaurant?

It finds the fair area and shows what is around it, so you can see there is somewhere to eat before you commit. The final choice of restaurant stays yours - togather's job is to make sure that choice starts from a place that is even for everyone.

Where should we meet for dinner?

The fair place to meet for dinner is the area that keeps everyone's travel time close, not the one nearest the middle of the map or nearest to one person. Find the point where the journeys land closest together first, then choose a restaurant around it - togather times each person's real trip and returns the spots that keep the group even, so the choice of where to eat starts from a fair place.

Find your meeting point How it works

Start with the journey, not the restaurant

Most group dinners are picked the wrong way round. Someone names a restaurant they like, everyone agrees to be polite, and one person ends up with a journey twice as long as anyone else’s. The fair way is to settle the where before the what: find the area that keeps everyone’s travel time close, then choose a place to eat inside it.

That matters more in the evening than at any other time. Traffic peaks, trains thin out, and the last leg on foot in the dark is a real cost. A restaurant that looks central on a map can be the slowest place for half the group to reach once those things are counted.

What makes a dinner spot fair

A fair spot is one where the gap between the longest and the shortest journey is small. An average hides the person carrying the trip, and on a weeknight that person is the one most likely to cancel. togather shows each person’s travel time next to the result, so the group can see the spread rather than take the answer on trust, and can weigh a spot that is even for everyone against one that is quickest for one.

Then let the food decision be easy

Once the fair area is settled, choosing the restaurant is the fun part rather than the argument. You already know that wherever you land inside it, nobody is making a silent sacrifice to get there. Add everyone’s starting point, set how each person travels, and send the result to the group chat so the whole table can pick the place together.

How togather works it out

Add everyone's starting point
Enter where each person is coming from - home, the office, wherever they will leave from. Up to six people, and a neighbourhood or a station is enough, so nobody has to share a precise address with the group.
Set how each person will get there
Driving, public transport, cycling or walking, per person. The person driving from the suburbs and the person taking the train in do not experience the same map, and timing each one honestly is what keeps dinner from being unfair to one of them.
Pick a restaurant around the fair point
togather returns the areas where everyone's travel time lands closest together. Choose the spot to eat from there, so the decision about food starts from a place that is fair to the whole group rather than convenient for one.

Worked through, city by city

These guides name the interchanges that actually work as a fair midpoint in each city, and why the geographic middle tends to be the wrong answer there.

Questions

How do we decide where to meet for dinner when everyone lives apart?: Start from travel time, not from a favourite restaurant. Find the area where everyone's journey is roughly even, then pick a place to eat within it. Choosing the restaurant first almost always means one person quietly travels much further than the rest.
Isn't the midpoint on the map good enough for picking a restaurant?: Rarely. The geographic midpoint ignores how people actually travel - traffic, train lines and river crossings all pull travel time away from distance, so a restaurant that looks central can be the slowest place for half the group to reach on a weekday evening.
Can it handle people arriving by different modes for dinner?: Yes. Travel mode is set per person, so the friend driving in after work is timed on the road while the one taking the metro is timed on the network. Each journey is measured on its own terms and compared in minutes, which is what makes the meeting place genuinely fair.
Does it suggest the actual restaurant?: It finds the fair area and shows what is around it, so you can see there is somewhere to eat before you commit. The final choice of restaurant stays yours - togather's job is to make sure that choice starts from a place that is even for everyone.

Also worth reading

Settle it in about a minute

Add everyone’s starting point, pick how each person travels, and send the result to the group. No download, no sign-up.

Find your meeting point